A piece of this week’s breaking news: 16-year-old boy said disgusting and idiotic things to friends who were also saying disgusting and idiotic things in order to prove that he was capable of saying the most disgusting and idiotic thing.
Earth shattering.
Now I don’t mean to downplay the legitimate idiocy and disgustingness of the words that Kyle Kashuv used in his and his friends’ private Google Doc. The language is gross. I don’t need to go into detail explaining why he shouldn’t have said those words or why I don’t use that type of language because not only is it obvious, but it isn’t even a point of contention in this discussion. Because everyone is already in absolute agreement that the N-word is a terrible, hideous word with an even worse history, including Kyle. And that’s actually the point.
Kyle has apologized for his private messages multiple times. He brought more attention to the messages by apologizing publicly before the story gained a significant amount of attention. He apologized and expressed regret in his letter to Harvard. In every public appearance where he was addressing the messages, he did nothing but demonstrate absolute regret for his actions and disdain for the person that he was when he sent those messages.
This isn’t a debate about the wrongness of saying the N-word. It’s undeniably wrong. I know it, you know it, and Kyle knows it.
Additionally, I don’t really care if Kyle goes to Harvard. I know that the world has seen far graver injustices than one kid getting his acceptance rescinded from Harvard. I mean, yeah, it sucks for him. But the purpose of this debate isn't to defend the elite education of an 18-year-old.
This debate begs a far larger and more important question: Has our culture lost the ability to forgive?
It’s easy to look at Kyle’s situation and shrug my shoulders. He shouldn’t have said those things. I wouldn’t ever say those things. Of course, everyone deserves forgiveness, but is this really a hill that I want to die on? Do I want to face the uphill battle of defending someone who said the N-word?
Unfortunately, yes.
The implications of Harvard’s decision reach far beyond Kyle. Harvard’s implicit message is that there is no condition under which forgiveness can be earned. No apology, display of remorse, change of character, or personal growth is enough to atone for any sin that you have ever committed. Fighting against this terrifying precedent is a hill that is certainly worth dying on.
If you disagree, ask yourself this: Are you prepared to live in a world where any mistake you’ve ever made can be used against you at any moment? A world where the things that you said in your most naive years can define you even when you’ve grown far beyond them?
It’s obvious that a culture like that is completely unsustainable. Because as much as we all like to pretend that Kyle Kashuv is a uniquely terrible human who said uniquely terrible things, we all know that he isn’t. I don’t use racial slurs. But it would be disingenuous for me to sanctimoniously pretend that I would be able to stand behind every word that I have ever said or typed in private.
Luckily, I will likely never be in the spotlight and therefore up for public scrutiny in the way that Kyle is. Chances are, you won’t be either. We are able to continue going about our lives with the confidence that the stupid and even hideous things that we have said will never be dug up and held against us.
But for a moment, just imagine that you were in that position. Imagine that the standard that is currently being applied to Kyle was one day applied to you. If this mob was ever turned towards you, would your fate be any different from his?
What a commentary!
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